bugger.

Down with the usual flu/cough/sorethroat bug...

Feel pretty much like im drowning in my own lungs...

HELP.

hate.

You know how people say that liking someone makes you moon over them and you're unable to forget that person no matter day or night?

That the moments made with that person is encarved unto your heart and one glance at that person brings back those memories?

Well, love may be a strong emotion, but not undefeated as well..

I rather think hate leaves a bigger impact on me...










Hate is actually rather similar to love in the way that it involves people as well and memories created with that certain person, though the memories may not be sweet...

Ironic as it seems, people tend to remember what is unpleasant to remember more easily than the nice things and simple wonders of life..

When we are in love, we tend to moon over a certain someone, their features, the way they act, the way they walk and carry themselves and the moments we have spent together, what they said to us etc.

Well, when we hate someone, isnt all this what we remember as well? What a certain person said that triggered our anger, how the way thay act makes us wanna scold *%#$^#% and how pissed we are when their faces keeps popping out uncontrollably in our mind, whether we like it or not.

Doesnt all those sound pretty familiar? You cant stop thinking about them either. And one look of them brings waves of emotion, though not love, but hate..


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Fear~

Sometimes when i think of people i loathe, i start to get worried...

What if i die tonight, hating them, i would probably go to hell..

Wouldnt that be worse? Eternal pain and suffering? But yet it aint easy to bring ourselves to forget those acts that have once broke our hearts and wounded us.

I once watched a video/movie during a YCS movie session..

It was about a good pastor who had an argument with his wife and refused to talk to her for a few days. However, before he could forgive her, he "passed away" and was actually taken by an angel to visit heaven and hell.

In Heaven, he was shown the beautiful place God created for His people. But that place was very bare, considering the number of people who actually truly repents.

In hell, it was much more crowded and everyone seem caught up in their own personal suffering. It was truly painful to watch. The climax occured when the angel told the pastor that was the place he was meant to go if he really died, for although he asked God to forgive his sins, he could not bring himself to forgive another. He was then allowed to live again after 3 days to proclaim this to us, as i now share..






That is when it hit me that any moment, God can decide my time is up and i can never truly forgive those who hurt me before, and indirectly buy my one way non-refundable ticket to hell..

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Healing~

One day, there was this priest who came to celebrate mass with us..

He shared his own personal story how his close friend had betrayed him and he pretty much hated her for it. Everytime he saw her he would feel anger and hatred bubbling in him.


As much as he tried to forgive her, he couldnt. For one glance of her would bring everything back.


He then shared that forgiveness comes not from men, but from God. We cant forgive people without asking God to give us that power.

Every night, he would pray for the person he hated what he wanted for himself and he was supposed to do this for 30 days.

However empty his prayer was, he continued praying and after 20 plus days, he started to mean the prayer and eventually his anger was long gone..


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I should probably start doing this.

Who know, i might drop dead tomorrow.

Or maybe not.


Not before i drool over Taylor Lautner's hot bod xp

pieces

I despise people who don't keep their words and promises..

Who ignores the way i feel and hurt my feelings..

Sometimes, dont we get to carried away with our own needs till we tend to overlook the needs of others?

Or is it the ignorance and couldnt care less attitude that makes us hurt the people around us?

There are many ways to hurt a person, but once hurt, even if the wounds heal, there'll always be scars left.

If there's someone out there who can tell me the answer to this, please do.

How can i love a person with my whole haart if there are so many broken pieces yet to be found?

taylor.

Sometimes i kinda miss studying...

Its pretty nuts, in a way...

And i miss crying over mushy, unrealistic but unbelievably romantic scenes in dramas..

After watching so many korean dramas, my fave scene is when the hero *must be hot* wears a necklace for the girl. *Swoons*

Have been playing alot of rock riot recently. Sad to say, my coordination STILL sucks. Haha.

Cant wait for New Moon..

And yummy Taylor Lautner.



















Look at that abs, people...

*Faints*

chess =p

I think love is somewhat like a game of chess (which i just started playing lately =p)

If you attack too much, you end up sacrificing alot unnecessarily.

A defence too strong, you get nowhere.

Once your king is dead, you hear the word "checkmate".

And that is when it falls apart.

me.

Form four is almost over. time flies, whether or not you're having fun.

Im still pretty confused about what i want to do after form five...

Im still immature and naive..

Still waiting for miracles to happen..

I guess that's life for me...

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I miss beautiful sunsets, starry skies, beautiful poems, autumn, blooming flowers...